So many people jump right into a romantic relationship soon after (if not before) the ink is dry on the divorce decree. Sure, the high of a new romance may temporarily assuage the sadness, loss, and depression that go along with divorce, but hurrying into another relationship is only a quick fix, and neither healthy nor wise.
My advice: not so fast. Take the time to heal from the wounds of your divorce before venturing into a new relationship.
It is easy to lose your sense of who you are when you are in a broken marriage. Before looking for another partner, take the time to explore who you are on your own and first figure out how to make yourself content and happy as a single person. Here are a few suggestions:
- Change your living space to reflect your own personality.
- Pay attention to the things you enjoy doing by yourself, and occupy your alone time with those activities.
- Pursue new interests, such as a new hobby.
- Don’t be a hermit. Make plans with friends and develop a strong support system.
- Explore your faith and open your mind to discovering what renewing your faith may add to your life.
- Take care of yourself by exercising and improving your eating habits.
- Don’t be discouraged by feelings of sadness, grief, and loneliness. You would not be human if you didn’t feel these things during such a time. Be assured that these feelings are normal and that, in time, you will feel better.
- See a therapist, if necessary.
- Give yourself time to grieve.
Above all, be patient. It may take a year or more to discover who you are without a partner, but the wait will pay off in the end. Keep working at it, and If you are patient, at some point you will realize that you don’t need a partner to make you feel “whole.” That’s the point where you are ready to think about new relationships because you will have a healthy foundation upon which to build a lasting relationship with someone new.